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Boozer · Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:54 pm Jokes

It's time to unleash ur arsenal and slam some of ur best jokes on the table.

WARNING. SOME OF THESE ARE NOT ONLY OFFENSIVE, BUT GROSS AND YADDA YADDA YADDA. IF YOU ARE GOING TO RESPOND LIKE "UR A RACIST, SEXIST, PREJUDICE, ETC BASTARD DON'T EVEN BOTHER READING ANY FURTHER!!!

AND IF I GET A POST FROM SOMEONES MOM TELLING ME IM THE ANTI-CHRIST, WELL, THEN YOU CAN GO TO HELL :D

ALSO REMEMBER THESE ARE JOKES! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY SO JUST GO WITH IT.

OK lets begin.

Q. whats the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

A. you can't fuck a rock.

I thank you.

ok now that ur warmed up time for a story

Two black men are in Cleveland, one says to the other "I hate this place lets go somewhere warm to live." The other one agrees. Having not much money and no car they take two bicycles out of their garage and begin their trip to the ever so sunny state Florida.

After about 60 miles on the interstate they realize that it would take far to long to make this trip on bike alone and begin to hitchhike. After about an hour of hitchhiking a trucker pulls over and asks, "where yall boys headed?" they answer him "Florida." "Well shoot thats where im goin hop on in! But you have to ride in the back with the cargo full of bowling balls." Thinking nothing of it they thank the driver and climb in the trucks cargo haul along with their bikes. And they're on their way to the sunny state.

Trying to make good time the trucker is speeding across the freeway and it wasn't long before a state trooper pulled him over.

The trooper walked up to the trucker and told him that he was speeding and that he needed to check the cargo haul. The trooper walked the to cargo door and opened it. Panic shot through him like a lightning bolt as he grabbed his radio and screamed "I NEED BACK-UP NOW!!!! I JUST FOUND A SHIT-LOAD OF NIGGER EGGS TWO OF 'EM HATCHED AND THEY ALREADY STOLE TWO BIKES!!!!"

Tip ur waitress

PG-13 · Sat Jul 21, 2007 5:52 pm

lmao...

Po!nT · Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:46 pm

lmao

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Whats funner than throwin a baby off a cliff?

Catchin it with a pitch fork.

How do you make a baby sound like a dog?

Soak it in gasoline and light in on fire, it goes woof.

How many babies does it take to shingle a house?

Depends on how thin u slice 'em.

I got a good story.

Ok there are three guys, Chuck, Gary, and Jimmy. They get stranded on an Island, and get caught by a tribe of cannibals. The Cannibals tell them to go pick 10 of one fruit and bring it back to them.

Chuck returns first with 10 apples, the Tribe leader tells him if he can shove all 10 up his butt without laughing or making any expression of pain. He gets to the 2nd apple and yells in pain and they eat him and he goes to heaven.

Gary returns second with 10 grapes. The Tribe leader tells him if he can shove all 10 up his butt without laughing or making any expression of pain he will live and they won't eat him. He gets to the 8th one and bursts into laughter. They eat him and he goes to heaven.

Gary joins Chuck in heaven and when he gets there, Chuck asks Gary why he laughed when he only had grapes. Gary said I turned just in time to see Jimmy carrying 10 Watermelons.

ROFL

PG-13 · Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:51 pm

whats the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead baies..

u can't move the bricks with a pitch fork

daltonlws · Sun Jul 22, 2007 6:44 pm .

rofl :wink:

Boozer · Sun Jul 22, 2007 10:57 pm

Ha holy shit thats great. I hope we get some more posts.

Mex · Sun Jul 22, 2007 11:43 pm

Well its ok... (Mine)

Two cows are on a pasture

One says
"So, what do you think of this madcow disease?"
"What do I care I'm a helicopter"
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"Mom Im home from school.... Mom?.....It smells like something died in
here!.....Mom?.....Mom?!?!?!?"

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A blonde is living in columbia and needs money so she realizes that kidnapping brings in a lot of money. So she decides to start at the park by the Huge tree right in the middle she goes up to it and see a kid she snatches him and takes her back to her house. She says i need to write a ransom not and it reads
Dear Parents of Joe Smith
I have your son if you ever want to see yoru son again leave 1000 dollars at the tree in the middle of the park by tommrow
Signed Blondie
The blonde is very pleased she takes the note gives it to the child and says
"Quick run home and give that to yoru mom!"
The next day she goes to the park and checks the tree she finds the money and a note
"Hey heres your money but One blonde shouldnt treat another like this!"

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"Mom! You see that idiot that just got hit by the bus! Hahahha... Mom?....Mom!"
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"Mom im home......You hear about the lady that disapeared with th milkman? Mom? Mom!?!?!?!"
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"Mom @ school they called me gay"
"So what'd you do"
"I hit them wiht my purse"
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A blonde walks into a electronics store a man walks up to her and says
"We dont accept blondes here sry"
She goes out and gets a wig and goes back the same man walks up to her and says
" sry we dont accept blondes"
"Howd you know im blonde? this is a wig!"
"Its a blonde wig"
So she goes out and gets another wig this time when se walks in she isnt stopped she goes up to a salesman and says
" how much for this tv?"
"He says we dont accept blondes here"
"howd you know?"
"Thats a microwave"
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A blonde is wondering through a forest lost she find a lamp and rubs it a magic gene comes out and says hell grant a her 3 wishes
so she wishes for
1 a billion dollars
2 A nice car
3 A Highway that would lead her home

he says ill grant that but the third wish is way tooo hard choose something else

"I want to be reallly really smart!"
"So how many lanes do you want on your high way?"
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-Dad I dont want to go to paris
-Shut up and keep swiming!
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-Dad i dont wanna see grandpa
-Shut up and keep digging
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-Dad why i do i walk in circles and the time?
-Shut up or ill nail your other foot!

Boozer · Mon Jul 23, 2007 12:16 pm

knock, knock...

who's there

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-

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GO FUCK YOURSELF! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Z1p · Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:26 pm

hahahahahahaha........

PG-13 · Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:58 pm

woot got some more:

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrarri?

I dont have a ferrarri in my garage

________________________________________________________

Whats the difference between a turkey and a baby?

i only cook a turkey once a year

________________________________________________________

how do u stop a baby from crawling in circles?

U nail his other hand

OspreY · Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:59 pm

PG@baby obsession?

PG-13 · Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:00 pm

lmao no... fine...

How do u punish Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

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How do u confuse Helen Keller?

Tell her to read a basketball

If u don't know who helen keller was read this: "She was not born blind and deaf; it was not until nineteen months of age that she came down with an illness described by doctors as "an acute congestion of the stomach and the brain," which could have possibly been scarlet fever or meningitis. The illness did not last for a particularly long time, but it left her deaf and blind."

And my last 1

Women's rights

Boozer · Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:01 pm

lol womens rights *applause

anna · Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:46 pm

cough i think some guys are going to get their asses kicked :evil:

mammOth · Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:58 pm

3 old ladies were in the park sitting on a bench when a man in a raincoat approached them. 'Would you like to see my goodies?' said the man as he opened his coat to reveal he was wearing nothing underneath.

The first old lady had a stroke and fainted.
The second old lady also had a stroke and fainted.
The third old lady also would have had a stroke, but her arms were too short.